Here’s the Thing

We accidentally managed to see all 5 films nominated this year. Two of them have been bugging us since we saw them. So here we go.

No Country For Old Men.


2nd best trailer of the year. One of two films where people actually told us “you should see this movie.” We liked it plenty: great scenes of suspense before every murder, we couldn’t take our eyes of the screen whenever the killer Chigurh was on, and Josh Brolin is on one Hell of a run of great mustaches.

It’s classic Cohen Brothers, and the ankle-high shots of the killer walking toward his quarry, showing us his feet and the muzzles of his weapons, is reminiscent of the scene in Miller’s Crossing. We love that shot.

But the more time went by, the less blown away we were. The ending is what it is. But again we ask - what’s the big deal? It’s just a remake of the Terminator, set in 1980. A relentless, dispassionate killer with a funny accent who just won’t be stopped stalks an unwitting but resourceful prey. For all the fuss over this flick, it's nothing we haven't already seen.

Let’s run down the Terminator checklist, and see how No Country compares.

• Idiot roommate: Check.

• Killer has a chilling encounter with store clerk early on: Check

• Killer retreats to his motel room and repairs his wounds on his own: Check.

• Sympathetic police boss who offers to help, but is ultimately powerless to do anything: Check

• Arrival of someone who knows the killer, and explains everything to the prey: check.

• Scene where this new arrival informs the prey that "the killer can’t be stopped. He can't be negotiated with. He’ll keep coming." Check.

• Main character’s death occurs off camera: Ch- oh, wait, that’s just No Country for Old Men.

• Ending where character leaves us with his vision for a dark and more violent future: Check.

Next up: Juno


Best script of the year. Hands downs. The dialog was original, funny, and snappy. But…

It just felt like another assembly-line produced indie film. As one reviewer whose name escapes us said:

“The characters weren’t in wardrobes so much as they were in costumes.”

Oh, the irony abounded. People in red and green velvets, a girl talking on a phone shaped like a hamburger (and in case you missed the cuteness, there's even a line where she tells the abortion counselor on the other end of the phone:

"I’m sorry, I’m on my hamburger phone and it’s kind of awkward to talk on. It’s really more of a novelty than a functional appliance.")

As funny as it was, we can count on our left hand the number of times we laughed out loud. Most of the jokes were the kind you smile at. Relied on you to laugh at the fact that the characters referred to some middle-America product in lieu of a punchline.

Indeed, the movie had more name-checking than a P Diddy video. If the idea of a girl drinking a gallon of Sunny D makes you laugh, then this is the movie for you. And if you think a person being hit by a minivan is moderately funny, then hold onto your sides while Juno asks

“Did you hit someone with the Previa?”

The movie begins to fade pretty quickly from our memory once we left the theater. Best screenplay? Absolutely. Great dialog? Absolutely. Best use of language we've seen in a long time? Yup. But best movie of the year? To quote Juno herself, in the end we'd say it's ultimately more of a novelty than a functional appliance.