Profiling

It’s the summer break, and we’ve got a lot of writing to do. So when it comes to a summer job, we’re looking for the most mindless part time job we can get, one that requires absolutely no writing and little thinking. (and, sadly, there is no MA Turnpike here in California.)

So that meant today was spent filling out an application for Borders books. And by 'today', we mean all. Fucking. Day. A 45 minute, extensive online questionnaire that included a personality profile. Included in the personality profile section was a series of statements which asked if we Strongly Agree, Agree, Disagree, or Strongly Disagree.

Which leads to our first ever Ten Angry Men Pop Quiz:

Which of the following is an actual statement that job applicants are expected to endorse/reject on the Borders job app.

a) I try to read at least 2 books a month.
b) I love helping customers.
c) If I knew that I could get away with it, I would gladly torch my nearest Barnes and Noble retail store.
d) It is maddening when the court lets guilty criminals go free

If you guessed D, you are correct.

Now any idiot knows that to answer STRONGLY AGREE would present a huge red flag to potential employers, especially at a bookstore*. But we’re smart enough to know that in a test like this, all these answers are compared with your answers to earlier questions, to smoke out the bullshit artists. And, previously in the app, we identified ourselves as having been previously embedded in the public safety bureaucracy. Which meant we had to say WE STRONGLY AGREE with This Statement.

Tomorrow, it's on to see if Jamba Juice is hiring.

*We’ve applied a bit of reverse engineering on this one, and we assume this question was meant to evaluate if a potential employee would leap over the counter and beat the shit out of a shoplifter .