If I Could Write the Next Die Hard Movie

So there's talk (or maybe not) of a new Die Hard movie. 

If I Could Write the Next Die Hard Movie I'd write it from the POV of the villain who’s trying to isolate and kill the pain in the ass John McClane type before he can disrupt the villain’s plan. And it would not star Bruce Willis either.* It’s called ‘Die Hard,’ not 'John McClane.' This franchise works best when the hero is an everyman, and we are long past that point with John McClane.

*UNLESS John McClane is the villain. Maybe he’s forced to take hostages/commit a crime for reasons unknown but are later revealed to be sympathetic. (Maybe his kids are held hostage and he needs to stage an assault on a Federal Reserve bank,or maybe he's pulled a Hans Gruber but his target is actually an evil multi-national corporation plotting to do some serious harm to NY/ is fronting a terrorist group.) Regardless, the world sees HIM as the villain, and to make matters worse he’s up against a resourceful off duty cop who stumbled onto the scene. McClane’s got to neutralize the cop before he ruins everything and, because he’s John McClane, he has to do it without killing the poor cop.

OR I would just add Dwayne Johnson, come up with an excuse for them to steal a lot of cars, and call it a day. 

This has been Reason #41 Why I May Not Be Cut Out To Work in Hollywood  

What to Expect When You're Expecting a Big Speech

Since one of The Ten is a former speechwriter,  we've been following the expectations for Mitt Romney's big speech tonight when he accepts the GOP's nomination.  Many folks are saying how tonight is Mitt's big moment to shine (while some of The Ten want to know what the odds in Vegas are of him absolutely tanking.)

Our expectation?  Most likely it will be completely underwhelming.

A few corny jokes that will seem to score because the expectations are so low but ones that will nevertheless be completely forgotten in a few days time.   Add in a dash of family, plus some anecdotes about how he - not the government, HE - built Bain Capital and how hard it was for the family back then (thanks to his wife for keeping it together.) Pause for applause at the mention of the wife, then continue with  some vague, bumper- sticker pronouncements about what he wants to do for this country (Take it back, apply common sense business  practices, restore our leadership presence in the world, grow jobs) and he'll really get rolling when the loudspeaker blares to life and implores the crowd: "ATTENTION PLEASE IS THERE A CARDIOLOGIST IN THE HOUSE? GOVERNOR CHRISTIE JUST OD'D AT THE MCRIBS CART OVER BY THE NEW JERSEY DELEGATION.  WE NEED A CARDIOLOGIST AND TEN OF YOUR STRONGEST MEN - (OR 8 WOMEN FROM THE WISCONSIN  AND/OR MAINE DELEGATION) -  OVER TO NEW JERSEY'S AREA OF THE FLOOR  ASAP.

Meet Grantland's New Fabulist

To believe Barnicle’s latest column on Grantland is to believe Terry Francona actually said the following:

“I used to do these by hand," he says. "Did it before all this math stuff and computers got so big. Did it without knowing it. When I managed the Phillies. Did 'em all by hand then. Would sit down with a pencil and a piece of paper and go through opposing lineups. Took forever. Now it's all on these things, computers.”

But as anyone who’s followed the Red Sox these last few years can tell you, that’s impossible. It’s more likely that what Francona really said was this:

“I used to do this stuff by hand, sure, you better believe I did. Just the other day I was talking to Pedroia. 'Pedey" I said – we talk about this stuff all the time, because I like to think Pedey’d make a great manager some day, because you know what? He’s a good kid, real hard player, but what he brings to the table is that he makes the most of what he was born with. Because of that he’s a real asset to this team and those seem to be the guys who always make great managers, like Lou Piniella, Joe Torre, or Butch Hobson; OK maybe that last one not so much but anyway, now don’t get me wrong Pedey’s a great guy but he’s just one of a great group of guys, helluva a good squad we’ve got this year, so like I told Pedey: way before all this math stuff and computers got so big, before Bill James came on board - although, I gotta tell you, that guy can run some numbers. Good guy, hard worker, makes the most of that big brain of his but if you ask me he’s a little weird - whatever you do, don’t get him started on talking about crime unless you want to spend all day hearing him crunch the numbers on the Lizzie Borden case. But he made me realize that even back in the olden days I was kinda like him in my head - I was crunching numbers without even knowing it, I did it all in my head, going back to when I managed the Phillies - had a helluva a time there, managing that club. Sure we didn’t always do so well but the group of guys in that clubhouse were among some of the best guys I ever played with. Now where was I? Right. The numbers. I did them all by hand then. Before every game the batboy would bring me a pencil and a piece of paper - let me tell you about that batboy, he was a Helluva good kid, Italian kid from one of the neighborhoods, Spider we called him, like in that Goodfellas. This kid was a short guy, not much to look at but he made the most of what he had and he brought it to the park every day. We play Philly now a few times every year and I tell you, he was still there, only now he’s the visiting clubhouse guy. I had to separate him from Manny one time back in ’04, something about Manny stiffing the clubhouse guys for their tip or something but don’t ask me- I keep that stuff inside the clubhouse and besides, Manny was a helluva a guy and one great ballplayer when he was here. Any way I'd take a pencil and paper and I'd go through opposing lineups. It took forever because all of the players in this league have something to offer you know, so anyway, it’s like I was saying, nowadays it's all on these things, computers.”

20 years already?

We remember watching the Tiananmen Square protests on TV for several days. And, of course, we remember watching this, as it happened (i.e., probably 6 hours after the fact, on the Today show. This was in the time before the Web, after all.) We loved it. This one guy stopped a line of tanks. He was and still is a hero to us.

But 20 years have gone by, and it’s time to ask: Is there a more useless moment in the history of political revolutions?

Isn’t it time we took a step back and admit that China's suppression worked? Its now 20 years later. The same party is still in power, they are successfully censoring the newest technology (thanks, Google), they are emerging as the next Super Power, the whole world just genuflected to them at the recent Olympics, and from all accounts we've read, the young people in China A) never heard of the Tiananmen Square protests, and B) are actually more conservative and nationalistic than their peers 20 years ago. The man who stopped a line of tanks from advancing on a crowd of civilians is now largely forgotten by the sons and daughters of the people he tried to save.

While the Soviet union and other Communists powers took tentative steps toward a peaceful transition to less authoritarian governments during the late 2oth Century , in the end they all fell. So now it's 2009, and the only remaining Communist power? China, also the only one who violently crushed their opposition. On national TV, no less. There's a lesson in there somewhere, and it's not a good one.

Thanks to Kottke for aggregating a lot of great links on the subject.

Most readers of this blog are familiar with "death by cop," but this is the 1st time we've heard of "death by Air Force. "

Worst. Week. Ever

Occurred back in 1945, when a Japanese man was on the scene for not one but two atomic explosions.

"Mr. Yamaguchi was in Hiroshima on a business trip on Aug. 6, 1945, when an American B-29 dropped an atomic bomb on the city. He returned to Nagasaki, his hometown, before the second attack, officials said." via the NY Times.

Do we detect a pattern here?

A new President is sworn into office, and not too long after China gets aggressive with a US military asset.

Just like in 2001.

The rye bread is very stale indeed.

So we've been trying this new Twitter thing that all the kids all the members of the media have been using lately. It's being touted as the Next Big Thing! So it was with some sense of obligation to you people that we decided to give it a whirl.

So what did we find? Here is a typical post on Twitter.

"The rye bread went stale. Time to throw it out for the birds."

Think we'll sit this one out.