Profiling

It’s the summer break, and we’ve got a lot of writing to do. So when it comes to a summer job, we’re looking for the most mindless part time job we can get, one that requires absolutely no writing and little thinking. (and, sadly, there is no MA Turnpike here in California.)

So that meant today was spent filling out an application for Borders books. And by 'today', we mean all. Fucking. Day. A 45 minute, extensive online questionnaire that included a personality profile. Included in the personality profile section was a series of statements which asked if we Strongly Agree, Agree, Disagree, or Strongly Disagree.

Which leads to our first ever Ten Angry Men Pop Quiz:

Which of the following is an actual statement that job applicants are expected to endorse/reject on the Borders job app.

a) I try to read at least 2 books a month.
b) I love helping customers.
c) If I knew that I could get away with it, I would gladly torch my nearest Barnes and Noble retail store.
d) It is maddening when the court lets guilty criminals go free

If you guessed D, you are correct.

Now any idiot knows that to answer STRONGLY AGREE would present a huge red flag to potential employers, especially at a bookstore*. But we’re smart enough to know that in a test like this, all these answers are compared with your answers to earlier questions, to smoke out the bullshit artists. And, previously in the app, we identified ourselves as having been previously embedded in the public safety bureaucracy. Which meant we had to say WE STRONGLY AGREE with This Statement.

Tomorrow, it's on to see if Jamba Juice is hiring.

*We’ve applied a bit of reverse engineering on this one, and we assume this question was meant to evaluate if a potential employee would leap over the counter and beat the shit out of a shoplifter .

Shameless Self Promotion

Since we're on the subject of Boston-to-NY bus lines, here's a piece we wrote a few years back about the last time we took the Fung Wah.

New show on Adult Swim

.. that we’ll be checking out this summer. We like it because it says what it does and does what it says.


Fat Guy Stuck in Internet, airing Mondays on the Cartoon Network, in fifteen minute increments beginning at 12:15 AM.

News You Can Use

When we worked at MassPort many summers ago, we were handed one of these at orientation.

Thanks to the Boston Globe for posting this handy chart. We can vouch for the accuracy of every words, as can all the proud Massport members of Teamsters Local 25.

Damn.

There goes Sundays. As you've all heard by now, Tim Russert died suddenly today.

We watched Meet the Press almost every weekend, w/out interruption, since we graduated college. While serving as a member of the State Bureaustocracy , prepping our boss for interviews, public hearings and newspaper editorial boards, we always imagined what it would be like to work for a DC pol, and having to prep him (or her) for an appearance on Russert's show. Slate.com even ran a primer once on how to prepare for his show. The man did not fuck around.

He'll be missed. We probly won't be watching Meet the Press much anymore. It was all about Russert.

Photo via NY Times.

So they Think They Can dance?

We hope they can, because they certainly can’t spell.

Meet the LA contestants who advanced to the final stages of So You Think You Can Dance: Rayven, Kourtni, Kherington, and Katee,

"Basically, the Boston sports scene has turned into a giant college campus"

A Schill-elagh was spotted among the crowd at last nite's game.

Bill Simmons, in writing about the Celts-Lakers, provides a nice recap of the current Boston sports market.

"So how did that happen? After decades of universally impersonal/enigmatic/unfriendly/anonymous/loathsome Boston sports owners who failed to mine a ravenous sports market, things turned when the Krafts bought the Patriots and proved that a local family could own a Boston-area franchise, interact with the community, listen to fans, build a state-of-the-art stadium and legitimately give a hoot about making everyone happy. A few years later, the Henry/Werner/Lucchino group purchased the Red Sox and shrewdly turned a notoriously fan-unfriendly franchise around, renovating (and even re-inventing) Fenway Park and maximizing every potential penny from that franchise. That was quickly followed by the new Celtics ownership (Wyc Grousbeck, Steve Pagliuca and their minority partners) making a concerted effort to get involved with the community, build relationships with sponsors and heavy hitters and everything else.

Maybe He Was Just Stuck in His Invisible Submarine

'Wonder Woman' finds body floating in river

"The actress who played Wonder Woman on TV in the 1970s says she didn't do anything extraordinary when she discovered a body this week on the Potomac River in Washington."


Link via House Next Door.

Is This Really All that's Left to Complain About?

Seems the seats on the new Blue Line trains are too slippery.

Please. It takes about 30 minutes to go from Bowdoin to Wonderland. Suck it up.

Ten Oldest Bars in the US

The Bell in Hand clocks in at #2, one spot ahead our favorite...




via Instapundit

Calling All Homeland Security Proffesionals

Enuff with that terrorism nonsense. It's been eleventy years since the last attack and we're already bored with it. There's some real work to be done. To wit:

What are you going to do about this?


Yes, this means you. So put down that coffee, stop arguing with your colleagues over whether its pronounced 'hurricANES' or 'hurriCUNS', and get on this before we have to take some drastic measures of our own, like buying window shades.

Photo and links via Goldenfiddle